I Get Around

Good ole Match.com, I tell you..........(side eye).  I exchanged numbers with Mr. I Get Around.  He was a handsome guy.  We finally got to the point where we decided to meet up.  I suggested he meet me at a friend's house party.  This way I would have witnesses and it was a social environment.  He was a hit.

A week later he suggested we catch a movie.  He asked where I lived.  I thought he was being a gentlemen and picking me up.  Nope, he pranced his ass inside of my house and sat on the couch.  Might I add he did not bring a movie.  Luckily I am a TV junky and have tons of cable channels. 

Since he was making himself cozy, I decided to casually let him know I am a gun owner.  You know just in case he tried to pull a stunt.  We're watching TV and things are are chill.  Then he proceeds to tell me that he has a record.  Folks, I got nervous.  Operation get my gun was in full effect!!!  I decided not to ask him what was on his record.  No need to incite a riot.

As we spoke, I could tell he was actually a pretty decent person and was really involved with his church.  He even gave up alcohol.  I believe in second chances so I thought I would work with him.  But then he started smelling himself.  He got excited over all the Match.com attention and proceeded to tell me how he is "making friends."

I am not an option Mister Man, I am a priority!  He could barely keep up with all of us.  Had to give him the Deuces.