Not My First Rodeo Buddy!

For this fool, I don't mind using his real name.  I met Jamie through Plenty of Fish.  We scheduled a meet and greet at ChaChos, a Mexican Catina.  The first date went well for the most part.  He did get the infamous side eye when he asked me what I like sexually.  I let him know that conversation was not appropriate at this time and that it was way to early to discuss that.  Jamie also kept complimenting my appearance throughout the date.  Not that I don't mind a compliment, but he was being excessive.  I did squeeze in that something could happen to me and I could be disfigured.  I also emphasized how great it is to develop a strong foundation and friendship when dating.  He agreed.

So we're laughing, having a good time.  We discuss our backgrounds, goals, etc.  He kept trying to figure out why I was single.  Hell, I ask myself that sometimes.  I am a great catch if I do say so myself.  I just tell him I haven't dated anyone that progressed to the point of marriage.  You know, keep it politically correct.  Realistically, I have been meeting men of the Ass decedents: Cheating-Ass, Lying-Ass, Mr. Lover-Lover Ass, I Have Fathered the  Southern Region Ass, etc.  Men I know damn well can never meet my family or friends. Lol

Jamie proceeds to tell me about his dating history and how he has not met a quality woman.  He seemed really geeked to be on this date.  On a surface level, resume wise, I have my stuff together.  He was impressed.  Technically, I was bringing more to the table than he was.  Since I don't keep a tally sheet on things of that nature, I wasn't trippin.  I have no problem working with someone and growing together.

Next, Jamie asked me what kind of wedding I wanted.  I told him, but was surprised he asked that question.  From there, he tells me he wants to court me and sees a long term future for us.  He then tells me he thinks we'll end up married in a year.  I had to work on self control at this point.  I have been known to have facial expressions that show my thoughts.  Was ole boy gas-ing me up, or was he serious?  Either way I was a tad weirded out.  I decided to "stay positive."  Perhaps, he just knows what he wants.  Perhaps, he truly sees potential. Perhaps, he is being genuine.  So you know as soon as I got in the car, I had to call my girl to debrief.

The next day Jamie starts calling multiple times a days and sending texts.  I am now addressed as "baby."  Janet Jackson flashback: No my name is not baby, it's Janet...Ms. Jackson if you nasty.  In addition to baby, I am also referred to as Mrs. DeJ_ _ _, his last name.  Folks, a week has not even gone by.  We go ahead and schedule date #2.  Let's do some math, Tuesday was the first date and Saturday will be the second date.  Within four days, I am his baby, future wife, and a breath of fresh air.  Did I mention he told me he was thinking about me during the day.  He said he was imagining what I would look like in my wedding dress.

Saturday rolls around and it's about time to meet.  Jamie tells me he is at his homeboy's home and that I should leave my car there and ride with him.  Errrr, hell nah!!!!  I just pretend I didn't hear that and ask what time does he want me to meet him at the bar.  I leave my girl's house and head to the bar.  He shows up...late.  Prior to the date, Jamie tells me he wants us to meet so we can talk.  Why he picked a bar with a DJ, I'll never know.  It is obvious we can't hear each other so he suggest we leave and head to a bar his cousin owns.  I reluctantly ride with him.  But wait, he is making a detour in the hood.  Da hell?  We stop at a house.  I know he doesn't think I am getting out this car.  As I am sitting in the passenger seat, I see a man walking up looking a little "crackish."  That's when Jamie hops out the car.  Guess what....that's my future brother-in-law....lol.  Was this a test?  Who would do it?  After he checks on his brother during our date, we pick back up.

His cousin's bar was closed so we go to Buffalo Wild Wings.  Luckily, it was near where my car was parked.  Just in case I needed to make a mad sprint.  While having our late snack, Jamie starts back up on how I will be his wife.  He tells me in 20 dates we'll be engaged.  He tells me about the house he is thinking about purchasing.  He did slide in how we would just live in my house till his house was ready.  I interjected how no one will be living in my house except me.  I know me, I am territorial.  I have made my mark all throughout my house.  If I get married, my husband and I will start fresh in a new home.  It's at this time the waitress rolls up for our order.  Jamie says, "My wife will have xyz."  "Your WIFE?!?"  Did he just say that?  I gave him the "chile please" look and laugh it off.  The date wraps up and he takes me to my car.

Wednesday comes around.  Wait let's do a logistic check, we just made a week.  I tell him we can meet on my side of town for dinner and maybe do a movie.  He agrees.  Time is flying by and he hasn't called to set a time.  I hit hm up.  This is when it went to a "dark place."  "Baby, it's getting late.  If I come out there, I will stay the night."  Did this fool just tell me he was going to stay the night at my home?  He didn't ask, he just told me.  I quickly texted that I was not ready for a slumber party.  I then texted we could reschedule for Thursday where we could have an earlier start.  Thursday comes around and it's almost 8 pm.  I texted if he was still coming.  He says yes.  More time goes by and he texted if we could reschedule because he is exhausted.  A few more hours go by and I call.  His phone goes straight to voicemail.  This is not like the Jamie I met 7 days ago that called multiple times a day.

Jamie has now gone ghost.  He just straight up stopped communicating.  I guess his feelings got hurt when I told him he could not spend the night.  HILARIOUS!!!!  I guess this "man" thought he could gas me up, get in my pants, and keep it moving. No Boo Boo, this is not my first rodeo.  I peep game.  I had to feel it out to determine if he was being genuine.  The slumber party incident proved he was full of ish.

Check Out My Older Posts

Folks, look to your right at the archives. Check out my posts from February. They are all pretty quick reads. Don't forget to follow me.

I am not a Square, I am an Octagon

I know I have conservative tendencies and I look for that when I date.  I tend to think after a five minute conversation one can tell I am not trying to take a walk on the wild side.  All of this to say, I am not trying to date anyone who has been jailed or served prison time.

A couple of weeks ago I was leaving RA Sushi.  As I made my way to my car, a random man starting yelling to get my attention.  I paused and asked, "What's the problem?"  He proceeded to tell me he thought I was attractive and wanted my number.  I kindly declined.  I was actually on my way to meet "3 Mammies" for a date.  From there he proceeds to tell me he just got out of jail two days ago and looking for a new friend.  Then he gives me the scary pedophile stare.  I quickly clutched my keys and proceeded to my car.

About two years ago, I exchanged numbers with a guy.  During our first phone conversation, he informed me that he had served jail time for domestic abuse.  Ike and Tina flashed before my eyes.  What on Earth made him think I would want to date a wife beater?  I politely told him I was not interested and wished him the best.

I am not the only one who has experienced this.  My friend went on a dinner date recently.  During the meal, this man proceeds to tell her he was in federal prison for domestic abuse.  Now mind you the explanations he gave her sounded like something from Jerry Springer.  It involved a cruise ship, the military, and a fight.  He deserves the "side eye."

I know me.  I am open to a certain extent.  I understand you may have some parking tickets and get stopped by an officer.  You might have to spend the weekend in holding.  Maybe as a teen you tried to shoplift.  I can work with that.  BUT if you went to JAIL and/or PRISON please keep it moving.

New York State of Mind

Back in 2007 or 2008, I can't recall which, I logged on Facebook and had a friend request from some dude I didn't recognize. I am big on privacy when it comes to social networks since I have pictures uploaded. Instead of accepting the request, I sent a message asking if we knew each other. He replied that he didn't know me, but wanted to. He was cute so I added him. Oddly, had he been ugly I would have deleted the request.  We communicated via FB and eventually exchanged numbers.  Since we were vibing and communicating for a week, he wanted to meet up. He was not from my city, but was there for the weekend. He texted for me to meet him at the Sprint store near my then apartment. I had just gotten off work, was tired, and looked a hot mess. I told him I couldn't maker it.

The weekend proceeds and he tells me he wants to meet up before heading home to New York. Again, it's hit and miss with him. I remember leaving a house party that Saturday evening and still could not catch him. By the time I got home, he hit me up. In mid convo, his phone dies. I knew it was a bust and I was going to sleep. He was catchBing a Red Eye early Sunday morning.

Low and behold, we stay in contact with each other. This is when the most dysfunctional, most retarded "relationship" in my life began. We started talking daily and we clicked. From there he told me he wanted to fly me to New York to be his date at a friend's wedding. I agreed, but I let my friends in New York know I was going. Can't be too safe, he could be a serial killer. A day before my scheduled departure I suspected something was up. I have yet to receive flight confirmation. Sure enough he tells me the wedding has been cancelled. The groom was caught cheating two days before the wedding. Now had I been thinking, I still should have hemmed him up. Just because the wedding was over did not mean we could not hang for the weekend. I was stuck on stupid at the time and let it go. Clearly, he never bought a ticket in the first place. I am so glad I didn't buy a new outfit for the alleged wedding.

Now folks, keep up. If you notice, I still have not met this person. I have only heard a voice and seen pictures on Facebook. After that weekend, "New York" and I stay in contact. He did really sweet things such as sending flowers to my job, Edible Arrangements, gifts, phones, massages, music, etc. He never asked me for anything. At this point some of my friends were wondering if he was a Nigerian running a scam.

Time is flying by. Every time we are supposed to meet, something magically comes up. I am not going to write in detail every incident, but here's a list of just some of his excuses: I am in the emergency room for a gash, I don't want you to drive to my homeboy's house, we had a flat tire, third degree burns, I am at my grandparent's house, my dad had me go to our vacation home, I cancelled your ticket because of a business venture, you don't take this seriously, I have food poisoning, I was stopped by the police and my car was towed, I am at the gym, women aren't supposed to go to the man, the jet I rented had to land in another city, I had to evacuate for the hurricane, I was called to federal court and can't leave the city, etc. He left me hanging in Jamaica. I actually went there alone.  Might I add he refused to Skype and if I asked for a picture, there was always a delay in receiving it.

"New York" allegedly relocated to Houston from New York. He still would not meet up with me. Yes I know this is crazy that I stuck this out. I believe my OCD played a role. I like closure and this situation was bugging the hell out of me. Folks, this went on for three years....on and off. My friends even did an intervention. My family was pissed about the whole thing. What really did it for me was when my Grandfather died, and he went out to party.

Eventually, I called it quits. I couldn't play the mind game anymore. "New York" was essentially a phone pen pal never to be seen. He did have some positives though. He got me gifts and helped me launch my side business.  I personally think he is a 600 lb man that plays on the Internet, lol.