Later in the day, he texted, "Dinner and a movie?" I texted back, "Sure." He then texted, "Your place or mine?" I texted, "When you mentioned a movie, I thought you meant a theater. I still have not seen Straight out of Compton. Homes are not an option." He then texted, "Let's just do drinks."
We agreed to meet at a popular martini bar and really hit it off. He was very easy to talk to. We soon got on the topic of marriage and kids. He informed me that he was married before, but divorced a few years back. He then told me he had three kids. I just assumed he and his ex-wife had children. No-no, he had three kids from three different women excluding his ex wife. I grabbed my imaginary pearls. Jesus take the wheel!
Turns out he had a one night stand that resulted in a child, he had another child with an ex girlfriend that he straight up told me he had no intentions on marrying, and his other child was conceived when he was teen. There is such a thing as over sharing. In my mind, I kept a smile on my place. Not 100% sure I maintained that face for that portion of the conversation. Has this man ever heard of a condom?
As we continued talking, he told me how he ended up in his present city. He met a girl and they became a couple. She got into law school and they relocated. The first thing that popped into my head was that he left his young children in Cali and Chicago to relocate for a girlfriend. I asked, "Do you get them in the summer or for holidays?" He told me he doesn't see his kids as much as he would like but his kids know who their dad is. What does that mean? Although I am not a parent, I do know the importance of being an active and present parent. He and the woman he moved for broke up and he decided to remain in his new city.
I just couldn't get past his parenting style. His youngest child is 4 and Dad is nowhere to be around. Every state where he has resided, he has created a child. He is fertile, clearly, and I will not be baby mama #4.