Iyanla Fix His Life

I started communicating with this particular guy and he appeared to be well adjusted.  I was wrong.  He used to be well adjusted.  I have a talent for meeting guys  in their "recovery" period.  Our initial phone calls were cool and he definitely did a great job staying in contact…..in the beginning.

We were supposed to go skating for our first date, but when we arrived it was a little too hood for his taste.  Instead, we went to a park and talked for hours.  Several things were discussed - his first marriage, his second marriage that happened 3 months after his divorce, his second divorce, the death of his beloved dog, wanting to change careers, and his mother staying with him due to a recent illness.  He had a lot on his plate.

I am not cold hearted and willing to work with a person, but with him it was always something.  He was consumed with competing in dog competitions.  Every weekend he would drive off to another state to compete.  He even bought a van to convert to make it more comfortable for his dog.  At the same time he would get sad every month on the anniversary date the other dog was killed.  It's hard to comfort a person you have just met.

Now I mentioned he had been married twice.  The first marriage lasted 7 years, if I remember correctly. He said it was amicable between them and no hard feelings.  Instead of taking personal time after the divorce, he rushed and married another woman who was the extreme opposite of his first wife.  Before the ink could dry completely, he was married to wife #2.  That marriage ended in under 60 days.  This woman was giving him hell, post divorce proceedings, to the point that he could potentially serve jail time……...over a car.

I am super family oriented so I fully support his decision to take care of his mother.  He is a very loving son and an only child.  His mom required a certain level of support and he stepped up.

In addition, to the previous he was in the process of changing careers.  Literally, he was all over the place.  In his 40's he was considering law school.  To this day I am still not quite sure what he did for a living.  I know he had rental properties, competed in dog shows, and rented out his luxury cars.

Now you may be wondering, where did I fit in?  That's the problem.  He had nothing else to give.  We had our initial park date, worked out together, and met for breakfast once.  He kept insisting he liked me and knew he needed to do better, but never followed through.  He asked for second and third chances.  To top it off, he would always tell me about all the great things he did in past relationships.  Do I look like I give a damn about what you did for them?

One day I just stopped responding and he quickly caught on.  For the few months we interacted,  I was supportive, tried to be understanding, and really tried to work with him. BUT SWEET LORD OF THE LAMB, there is only so much a person can take.  I hope he has worked through some of his issues.