Thursday, May 17, 2012
I am NOT Girl 6
I decided to exchange numbers with this guy. I promise he must suffer from split personalities or "keyboard courage." Keyboard courage is when you type some bold statements that you typically wouldn't say in person or on the phone.
In the era of texting, he chose to start texting first instead of having a phone conversation. His text would start off with something like this: So you know you are sexy; You know you turn me on; Hey cutie with tons of annoying smiley faces. Keep in mind this is all within days of exchanging numbers. I was looking more for; How is your day? Want to meet for coffee? What do you do for a living. This early in the game, I could care less if I "turn you on." I am trying to see if you're sane!
So being the gross person he is, he always managed to take things to a "dark place." For example, I was asked, "What did I do today?" I responded with work, some errands, and boot camp. I kept it simple. In return, this is what I got: So did you work out extra hard for me? I bet you look sexy in workout clothes? Send me a pic of you in your workout clothes. You know you are turning me on. I had to check my phone to see if he thought he dialed a 1-900 number. Needless to say, I would pretend I never got the messages and change the subject.
There were many dimensions to his "sickness." He kept sending shirtless pictures of himself followed by texts saying, "I know you like muscles, I can tell. This pic is just for you. This is a moment for both of us." Errrr, I did not ask you for a picture, I don't care to see your bird chest, and what makes you think I like muscles?" It was literally the same pose and facial expression in every pic. He just had on different pants. I kept asking, "Why do you keep sending pics." His response: I know you want it. Someone, anyone pray for that fool.
The crazy part is when we actually had phone conversations, he appeared normal. It was fun and pleasant. I thought well maybe if I ignore his lame passes, he would catch a clue and stop. He didn't! I even explicitly told him his comments make me feel like a piece of meat. In return he apologized and said he would chill out.
It went downhill when he asked if I had tattoos. I do indeed have non-visible tattoos and was dumb enough to tell him. From there he says, "You're a naughty girl, I can tell. I bet you have a bad side. Tell me that you're naughty. I bet you're a freak." Of course he ended with his signature line: You know you're turning me on. He next asked me to tell him my turn ons. I had to let my "short bus" friend know my turn ons are not up for discussion and he is inappropriate. Next, I told him, "Air itself seems to turn you on". From there I proceeded to tell this lame we were not compatible and I would greatly appreciate it if we cease contact. He agreed and told me I was too serious, he likes having fun. This all started and ended in under a week. NEXT!!!!!!!
Monday, May 14, 2012
My 40 Before 40 List
Although I blog about dating, the title also says "what-nots." This gives me the freedom to discuss other happenings in my life. I decided to create a 40 before 40 list. I have 10 years to complete my list. I think I can do it!
1. Cook every recipe in a cook book - My former roomie gave me a cook book one year and I've used a handful of the recipes. I want to complete them all and take pictures of my masterpieces.
2. I want to visit every continent, excluding Antarctica - So far I have been to North America and Asia. I've traveled to several Central American countries and the Virgin Islands. Still doesn't count as South America.
3. I want to become 100% debt free - I used two credit cards while in grad school and for some traveling. I want to pay them off and be done with them.
4. I want to earn an MBA - I have one Masters, but I've always wanted an MBA.
5. I want to get married - Lol, don't judge me!
6. Go on a vacation by myself again - Perhaps I will go somewhere like Arizona where I can stay at the spa all day and relax.
7. I want to go to Hawaii - It's just beautiful there!
8. Do 5 pull ups in a row - I need some upper body strength and this goal will be good motivation.
9. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen - I will join my family and serve during Thanksgiving and Christmas, annually.
10. Do at least 3 5K's a year - I am not much of a runner, so I can manage that distance without passing out.
11. Take a photography class - I LOVE taking pictures. I have been nicknamed the "Historian" by friends.
12. I want to fully launch my professional organizing business - Feel free to visit http://www.eliteaccommodations21.com/ today!
13. I want to go on vacation with a love interest/boyfriend - I have traveled with friends and family, but never a romantic getaway.
14. Go skiing - I am not a fan of the cold, but I want to try the bunny slopes at least once.
15. Visit a waterfall - Hopefully I can do this while I'm in Jamaica!
16. Look at the planets through a telescope - I want to visit one of those massive telescopes and explore the universe.
17. Buy season tickets to a sporting event - Perhaps some friends and I can do this together and divide up the games.
18. See Sade in concert - I just love her voice!
19. Develop all my Shutterfly albums - I have over 300 albums on Shutterfly. I want to develop them and arrange them in albums.
20. Read the Bible cover to cover - I've read chapters referenced in church or covered in Bible studies, but never in its entirety.
21. See "Wicked" on Broadway - I loved the book so I want to see it in New York.
22. I want to meet Common - That man is beautiful to me!
23. Learn to play golf - I have clubs that are collecting dust. This way I can join my dad and grandpa on the course.
24. Read 40 Books - Half Price Bookstore and I will become friends!
25. I want to work my way up to six-figures - I want to retire with dignity.
26. Take a cooking class - This includes making my grandmother teach me her recipes. I love her cooking.
27. Visit the Grand Canyon - Pretty fascinating that a nature carved this.
28. Learn how to play Poker - I want to play at least one round in Vegas.
29. Lose 15 pounds - I want to drop 15 pounds and keep it off permanently.
30. Attend an AKA Boule - I've been to my Sorority's regional conferences, but never a national conference.
31. Have enough in my savings to live off of for 2 years - I want to be financially responsibly and save wisely.
32. Pray every morning and evening - It's good to have a conversation with God and a moment to reflect.
33. Start using coupons - A penny saved is a penny earned!
34. Read the Harry Potter series - I loved the movies. Curious what details were left out.
35. Visit Martha's Vineyard - I want to see if it's all it's hyped up to be.
36. Get my yard professionally landscaped - I do not have a green thumb and I have a vision for my backyard.
37. Take a White House tour - I've passed by it, but have never been inside.
38. Have a Valentine for Valentine's Day - Last time I had one I was 24.
39. Take my sisters on a vacation - This will require a lot of saving, lol.
40. Visit all 50 United States - I have been to Alabama, Arizona, California, Georgia, Florida, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Tennessee, Texas, and Virginia. I have a lot of states to visit in 10 years!
My goals are attainable, and I will proactively try to accomplish my list! Keep you posted.....
Online Dating
Where do I begin? Folks, there are some strange people in the world, and a lot of them like to join dating websites. Those commercials on TV showing "real dates" are lies I tell you. Matter of fact, a good friend of mine saw her actor friend featured on one. She congratulated him on the gig. The personality and social disorders I have encountered make me so glad there is a block feature on these sites. I will share some of the offenses:
1. Got an email asking if I liked anal sex. I am not playing. After I picked my jaw up, I quickly deleted and blocked this "man."
2. Got an email from a man that said he wanted to kiss the corns on my feet. I am happy to report I am corn free and have no desire for anyone to kiss my feet.
3. All the emails with sexual innuendos are so off pudding and not attractive. DO BETTER! Try, "How is your day?"
4. Got an email from a guy that lived with his "baby mama." He proceeded to tell me about their arrangement. Ummm, no thank you!
5. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, if you are separated you are STILL MARRIED! Move around and wait for the ink to dry.
6. Here's a classic: Do you like well endowed white men? Well Mr. Creepy I found that email inappropriate. This man proceeded to hound me via email and inquire why I wasn't responding. Soooo, I let 'em have it and went off. He brought it on himself.
7. Pictures with gold teeth, red cups, and white t-shirts. Enough said.
8. Bad Grammar! Since your first impression is an email, please take time to re-read before sending. I feel like I am grading a paper sometimes when I am reading these emails. Had to have a friend translate one time. I was getting a headache.
The stats are lies. Yes, there are some cases where two sane people found each other online. Do not believe the hype of commercials. It is a true weed out process. Kind of like playing the lottery, lol. If nothing else, it is a source of entertainment and blog material.
1. Got an email asking if I liked anal sex. I am not playing. After I picked my jaw up, I quickly deleted and blocked this "man."
2. Got an email from a man that said he wanted to kiss the corns on my feet. I am happy to report I am corn free and have no desire for anyone to kiss my feet.
3. All the emails with sexual innuendos are so off pudding and not attractive. DO BETTER! Try, "How is your day?"
4. Got an email from a guy that lived with his "baby mama." He proceeded to tell me about their arrangement. Ummm, no thank you!
5. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, if you are separated you are STILL MARRIED! Move around and wait for the ink to dry.
6. Here's a classic: Do you like well endowed white men? Well Mr. Creepy I found that email inappropriate. This man proceeded to hound me via email and inquire why I wasn't responding. Soooo, I let 'em have it and went off. He brought it on himself.
7. Pictures with gold teeth, red cups, and white t-shirts. Enough said.
8. Bad Grammar! Since your first impression is an email, please take time to re-read before sending. I feel like I am grading a paper sometimes when I am reading these emails. Had to have a friend translate one time. I was getting a headache.
The stats are lies. Yes, there are some cases where two sane people found each other online. Do not believe the hype of commercials. It is a true weed out process. Kind of like playing the lottery, lol. If nothing else, it is a source of entertainment and blog material.
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