I decided to exchange numbers with this guy. I promise he must suffer from split personalities or "keyboard courage." Keyboard courage is when you type some bold statements that you typically wouldn't say in person or on the phone.
In the era of texting, he chose to start texting first instead of having a phone conversation. His text would start off with something like this: So you know you are sexy; You know you turn me on; Hey cutie with tons of annoying smiley faces. Keep in mind this is all within days of exchanging numbers. I was looking more for; How is your day? Want to meet for coffee? What do you do for a living. This early in the game, I could care less if I "turn you on." I am trying to see if you're sane!
So being the gross person he is, he always managed to take things to a "dark place." For example, I was asked, "What did I do today?" I responded with work, some errands, and boot camp. I kept it simple. In return, this is what I got: So did you work out extra hard for me? I bet you look sexy in workout clothes? Send me a pic of you in your workout clothes. You know you are turning me on. I had to check my phone to see if he thought he dialed a 1-900 number. Needless to say, I would pretend I never got the messages and change the subject.
There were many dimensions to his "sickness." He kept sending shirtless pictures of himself followed by texts saying, "I know you like muscles, I can tell. This pic is just for you. This is a moment for both of us." Errrr, I did not ask you for a picture, I don't care to see your bird chest, and what makes you think I like muscles?" It was literally the same pose and facial expression in every pic. He just had on different pants. I kept asking, "Why do you keep sending pics." His response: I know you want it. Someone, anyone pray for that fool.
The crazy part is when we actually had phone conversations, he appeared normal. It was fun and pleasant. I thought well maybe if I ignore his lame passes, he would catch a clue and stop. He didn't! I even explicitly told him his comments make me feel like a piece of meat. In return he apologized and said he would chill out.
It went downhill when he asked if I had tattoos. I do indeed have non-visible tattoos and was dumb enough to tell him. From there he says, "You're a naughty girl, I can tell. I bet you have a bad side. Tell me that you're naughty. I bet you're a freak." Of course he ended with his signature line: You know you're turning me on. He next asked me to tell him my turn ons. I had to let my "short bus" friend know my turn ons are not up for discussion and he is inappropriate. Next, I told him, "Air itself seems to turn you on". From there I proceeded to tell this lame we were not compatible and I would greatly appreciate it if we cease contact. He agreed and told me I was too serious, he likes having fun. This all started and ended in under a week. NEXT!!!!!!!
