So perhaps meeting men at conferences is not a good thing. If you read my previous post, you'll know I met "The Old Man" at one.
During October 2013, I went to a party for a conference. Hundreds of people were everywhere. My friends and I were having a blast. After a few hours, my feet turned against me. There were no chairs at this party, so I found the wall. It was there that I noticed "hazel eyes." He was adorable: tall, bald, cute, and hazel eyes.
We started chatting and shared a few laughs, but it was getting late. I thanked him for our chat and proceeded to walk away. He stopped me and asked for my number. I gave it to him and headed to my car. The next day he called. I was pleasantly surprised. He didn't wait 3 days, lol. We stayed on the phone for three hours. The conversation was not forced. Before we ended our call, he set up our first date.
The day had arrived for our first date. He had me meet him at his home so he could drive. I normally don't do that, but we had spoken everyday for 5 days straight so I was comfortable. As we were walking to the car, he didn't open the car door. I decided not to make a big deal out of it. When we arrived at the eatery, he did get the door to the building and had good manners once inside. I'm old school in the sense that I am big on manners and chivalry. The night ended and I thought to myself, "This has potential."
After that initial date, we started hanging out on a routine basis. The problem is that it was always at his house. I wanted more dates. We were in the courting phase, not the long term phase. I brought it up a couple of times and he would blow it off. After about six weeks of no dates, I told him the only way he was going to see me was if we had date night. He complied.
More time is passing by and I feel like he pulled a bait and switch on me. What used to be daily phone calls turned into texts. What used to be decent texts turned into short hand messages like "wyd." I was completely confused. I had the sinking feeling I dated his "representative" the first month and now I was starting to see the real him. He couldn't even make it 90 days before he started to suck. Now I am just going along with the motions.
On a normal basis, I would have put in my resignation letter. BUT, a cute face will buy you some time. His time started running out when I got sick with flu like symptoms. I told him I was ill. All he did was text, "I hope you feel better." To put things in perspective, my married homeboy heard I was sick and brought me food because I was too weak to move. Any man you are dating, that can't check on you when you are genuinely sick is no good.
The next offense happened when I got a new job. All he did was text, "You deserve it." No congratulation card or pat on the back. I had two different friends take me to dinner to celebrate my new position. So much for having a support system. Plus, when I would travel for my job he never checked to see if I made it safely.
Then there was Christmas. I didn't get a thing from him, not even a candy cane. I wasn't expecting a Gucci, but it had been two months. Plus I got him a gift. This man put no effort into anything. All he was good for was sitting on his couch, working, and actively putting no effort into our courtship.
He also told me he hates "PDA." That included hugs. So on the few occasions we did go out, I wasn't allowed to hold his hand, sit too close, etc. That pretty much sucked! I am not overly mushy, but if you're my boo I feel entitled to some affection……sheesh. Now if we were at his home, he was all about cuddle time.
I consider myself to be proactive. I decided I was going to discretely try strategies from the 5 Love Languages, and see which one he responds to. I tried them all and his dry ass was not appreciative of shit. He barely said thank you.
It was now January and I had enough. I was putting my best foot forward and he was putting in his pinky toe. I had to send a "Dear John" text: I am not happy. This is not the foundation I want to establish for a long term relationship. I would like to be with someone who is enthusiastic about getting to know me and the courting process. I wish you the best.
Do you know he never responded to that text. Rude and detached to the bitter end. Introverts work my last nerve when it comes to dating!
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