Mr. Beer Goggles

Never partake in adult beverages and give out your number!!!  You will be disappointed 9 out of 10 times.  I decided to go to a Day Party with some friends.  The music was great and the drinks were flowing.  Ooops I can no longer feel my lips.  Hark, how did this happen?

I am feeling good and a cutie approaches me.  He tells me I am cute BUT he's married.  Instead he decided to introduce me to Mr. Beer Goggles.  This fool just pulled the bait and switch on me.  I give out my number and continue partying with my friends.

A week has passed and Mr. Beer Goggles and I are scheduled to meet at a Wine Bar.  I walk in and immediately find him.  We were the only brown people there so he was not hard to spot.  Mind you I really didn't remember what he looked like. 

Ohhh Mr. Beer Goggles was not easy on my eyes, but he was nice.  I started having thoughts like "Hey I can do this," "He's not that bad," "I've seen chicks date ugly guys."  I really was trying to convince myself I could date a man I found unattractive.

Mr. Beer Goggles is eager for date #2.  He suggest we go to a movies.  I agree and tell him we can go after work.  Little did I know he purchased 10:30 PM tickets on a Monday without checking to see if that time was okay.  I don't know about you, but I am tired on Mondays and a late movie is not my idea of fun.  I go since I was texted the movie time and receipt for the tickets.

After the movies, he wants another date asap.  I tell him we can go to dinner the next weekend.  In the meantime he blows up my phone everyday asking to come over my home.  All I keep thinking is that you are a stranger and you will not be entering my thresh hold anytime soon.  Then I start thinking why are you so eager to come over?

The last supper as I called it took place on a Sunday.  We decided to meet at Grand Lux.  This man's table manners turned my stomach.  The waiter brings our bread and he slabs enough butter on it that it begins to gather in the corners of his mouth.  I can't help but stare.  It clicks to him to use a napkin, but not just any napkin.  He uses the bread basket napkin.  From there he orders FRIED CHICKEN!  Who would do it?!?  He tore that chicken up.  All I could hear was him sucking the meat.  Then he damn near killed me when he scooped some spinach on his fork and brought it 1 inch from my face.  You can imagine the horror as he wanted me to eat from his fork.  I politely passed.

Dinner wraps up and he walks me to my car.  I just want to go home!!!  Then the dreaded words came out of his mouth: Can I have a kiss?  I give him a kiss on the cheek.  He then tells me, "I don't want a kiss there."  Oh Father God save me.  I take one for the team and give him a peck on the lips.  I enter my car and begin to scream and gag.  I pull out my anti bacterial gel and rub it on my lips.

I wave the white flag, I am done!!!